The Biggest What-If
by RumbleintheDumbles
Summary: Because really, what did you expect when you gave a dorky teenager laser eye beams that destroy the forces of evil.


**This is, of course, an extremely serious examination of the potential consequences of what could be an extremely large butterfly.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY.**

* * *

"Ruby Rose," the man famously known as Professor Ozpin, headmaster of the world-famous Beacon Academy, intoned ominously, "You have silver eyes."

"I know, right?" the fifteen-year-old girl sat in front of him said excitedly, "I can shoot laser beams out of them!"

Ozpin blinked. "Excuse me?"

"It's awesome, right? I'm just like 'glaaaaare'," she mock-glared at an imaginary target, "And then it makes Grimm melt! I won't do it in here because it gets really bright but if you point me at a Grimm or fifty I can show you because it's so cool-"

"Miss Rose," Ozpin held up a hand to stall her, looking serious, "Am I to understand that you have control over the abilities your eyes possess?"

"Uh?" She tilted her head. "Yeah."

Ozpin's jaw tried to make itself work. The attempt was a failure. A glance to the side showed that his trusty assistant and deputy headteacher, Glynda Goodwitch, was in the same situation.

"And... " he said after a moment, "Are you sure that you should be telling people this so easily?"

"You mean, 'are you sure you should be telling everyone you meet that you can shoot laser beams from your eyes that can melt Grimm'?" Ruby asked in confusion, "Because the answer is 'Definitely yes'."

Almost instinctively, Ozpin's hand flew up to massage his forehead. He was legitimately impressed that the youngest member of this family had already developed the ability to give him a headache. Qrow hadn't been able to do that until at least age twenty-four.

"Wait, do you think I should be telling them twice?" Ruby asked, concerned, "Is that why you're looking all serious? Because I'm totally willing to do that."

Clearly, it was going to be a long three years.

* * *

"It is up to you, to take the first step." Ozpin finished, before turning away to leave the podium. He felt it had been a good speech, spelling out the realities of what was expected of them at this school. Giving the Huntsmen and Huntresses of the future a good head-start in life was his passion, and seeing them all together like this, wide-eyed and ready to learn put him in a good mood that nothing could possibly break.

Little did he know, his challenge had been accepted.

Before he could fully exit the stage, a red blur had rushed on to it, grabbing the microphone.

Ozpin paled. "Oh no."

"Ahem. Hello, everyone!" Ruby declared to the confused students, "My name is Ruby Rose, and I just want to take this moment to let you all know that I can shoot Grimm-melting laser beams from my eyes. Thanks for listening!"

With that, she left the stage.

"She can what?"

"That is so cool!"

"I wanna be able to do that!"

Ozpin glanced at his mug. Fortunately, he had already taken the precaution of mixing his special painkillers in with his coffee beans.

* * *

They were in the middle of their initiation, and things were looking dire.

"Okay," Yang grimaced as the Deathstalker burst through the trees, while the Giant Nevermore circled overhead, "We need a plan to take these things down and we need it fast."

Suddenly, beams of silver light lanced out from a position immediately to their right, slicing through their Grimm pursuers like a warm knife through butter.

"Or Ruby could just do that," Yang corrected easily.

"I'm going to be frank," Weiss noted, observing the two halves of the Giant Nevermore disintegrate as they tumbled to the ground, "I'm feeling somewhat superfluous in this partnership at the moment."

"You probably want to get used to that," Yang advised her wisely.

* * *

"Salutations! My name is Penny Polendina!" the strange, ginger-haired girl announced cheerfully.

"Hi, Penny! My name's Ruby Rose! I can shoot Grimm-melting laser beams from my eyes!" Ruby replied with a cheerful wave.

"I see," Penny nodded, "I can fire laser beams from my swords! Is firing laser beams at things something friends do in Vale?"

The three non-laser members of Team RWBY stared at her with dawning horror.

Ruby took her hand. "I think, Penny," she said, looking extremely serious, "That this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

* * *

"Hi, I'm Ruby! Want to see me fire Grimm-melting laser beams from my eyes?"

"Sure, that sounds metal as hell," Mercury agreed without thinking.

"Wait," Cinder said in what sounded suspiciously like a panic, "Perhaps you shouldn't-"

Anything else she was going to say was cut off by her hitting the ground, screaming in pain as the Cafeteria was lit by a silver glare.

"Oh, that's never happened before!" Ruby said, watching the older girl's body smoke as she rolled around in agony, "Sorry, I should have asked if anyone here was part-Grimm before I did that!" She paused, thinking about what she had just said. "Wait, what?"

The rest of the student body took off their sunglasses (they had long since learned how to respond to Ruby meeting new people) and stared at Cinder, Emerald and Mercury, who was only now beginning to realise what a tremendous mistake he had made.

"Well," he sighed, "At least I got to die seeing something awesome."


End file.
